I'm not going to get into the 'whys' and 'wherefores' of what brought about this state in the human psyche, although that is an extremely interesting topic that I may attempt to write about at a later date. I'm also not going to discuss whether or not this is a healthy obsession - another interesting and loaded topic. For today, I just want to talk about the 'real' way that one can lose weight, or attain the shape that one desires.
First of all, if weight loss is a goal, then it becomes something that one must plan towards; strive for; work hard at - just like any other goal that we humans strive for, such as finding a good job, earning 'x' amount of dollars, or purchasing a first home, debt-free. Therefore, all the books out there that offer miracle 'cures' to weight-loss are about as likely to be a direct cause to weight-loss as it might be for a book on how to purchase one's first home. Now, granted, the book might give some interesting clues, case-studies on how a particular individual or group of individuals were able to achieve their goal, or even offer sample long-term plans to transitioning from a rental to one's own home. But to expect a book like this to be a quick-fix or cure for buying a new home, debt-free, in 4 weeks or 4 months is about as realistic as it would be for one to expect a book on dieting, exercise or weight-loss to produce results in the same amounts of time.
Losing weight and becoming fit is a skill that requires hard work and discipline, just like any other skill. There is no easy way to learn Chinese if one grows up speaking only English. Now, if one learned how to speak Chinese and English at a very very young age, then that language becomes part of the developmental process, and therefore becomes part of the individual's consciousness (or subconscious, if you will). Skills learned at an early age become second-nature, and becomes an action that can be achieve on auto-pilot, without actively thinking about it. This includes the skill of losing weight. I won't get into all the ways in which this can happen - it's as individual and unique a situation as any other behavioral pattern in each human being. For now, let's just acknowledge that weight-loss is a skill that must be acquired in order to achieve results.
So to get into an extremely simplified version of how to attain this life-skill, let me offer up a few points that are necessary in order to cultivate the skill.
- Patience is vital. As with any other skill (such as learning a new language - which weight-loss can truly be if one has not been exposed to the language in their formative years), one must painstakingly learn how to change a particular habit or way of thinking in favor of the modality of thinking that creates weight-loss. In other words, if you don't get it right after you read how to do it - no matter how simple it may sound - it's normal and necessary to practice, make mistakes, and practice some more in order to master the skill.
- The more practice that one engages in, the faster one learns the skill. This goes hand-in-hand with patience, because most people don't have the time to make a full-time study out of weight-loss, and their body's specific way of losing weight. The bottom line (if you'll excuse the pun), is that one must think, speak, and act in accordance with what one is learning about weight-loss in order to affect change.
- The skill of weight-loss is a hard skill to master (unless you are an individual that learned the skill in your formative years, or you are an individual who does not eat to feel good - meaning, you don't eat to make yourself feel better - or you just have an unusually high metabolism). For most people. the skill of losing weight is incredibly dfficult - much of the time because food is one of the cheapest and easiest ways that one can feel good. It's part of our instinctual animal nature - food is used as a reward to train dogs, to lure mice to learn to maneuver a maze, and to bribe a frightened animal into making contact. To train out such a deeply ingrained pattern is a difficult task to master.
- The 'Truth' about weight-loss is that it requires discipline, dedication, hard work and determination. (For some, fear is a motivator - such as the fear that one will look 'fat' on their wedding day, or 'fat' for a movie role.) Any way you look at it, the only way to achieve true long-term weight loss is to work on it, and to continue to work on it for the rest of your life. In many ways, it is very similar to addiction - and some very similar steps that work for addicts to stop their addictive behavior also work to gain the skill of weight-loss.
- With the last point in mind, it makes sense, then, that having a support network can help to change behaviors and learn new ones. Oftentimes, weight-loss programs such as Jenny Craig and Weight Watchers rely on the group dynamic to drill the sense of determination in the individual psyche. Therefore, if the people around you are constantly striving to live at their ideal weight, whatever that might be, you are exponentially more likely to strive towards your own ideal weight. This can happen in a positive or negative way depending on how the group dynamic works. Sometimes, it can be positive and negative at the same time - but again, I won't get into those aspects - I just want to discuss the way to achieve weight-loss.
- The amount of energy spent towards learning weight-loss skills will directly affect how quickly/intensely one loses weight. This is similar to the second point about practice. However, the difference is that the energy might be spent practicing new skills, or the energy might be spent in visualizing the body one wants to live in. The more thoughts and energy one gives the subject, the more one will strive to learn and grow in that direction.
So that's the simplified version of the 'Real' Secret of how to lose weight. Later, I will get more into how to gauge what weight is truly healthy and how to build your skills around creating the specific body that you want. In the meantime, if you are trying to lose weight, be patient, and surround yourself with books, pictures, and ideas of what kind of body you wish to live in (The books themselves may not help that much in regards to information, but they will help in regards to strengthening your intent and reminding you of what you want so badly that you bought a shelf-full of books about it). The more reminders you surround yourself with, the more you will remember how much it is worth to you in the long-run to lose weight.
I hope that this was helpful, especially to those individuals who believe that there is some kind of magic pill or formula that will result in immediate weight-loss. There is no magic pill. There is only hard, hard work - especially when you're stomach is growling and that delicious pastry is calling out to you like some kind of warped fantasy: "eat me, eat me!" it cries. The only way to lose weight is to learn how to say no to those pleading voices and to say yes to the long-term goal of a healthy and fit body.
One more thing that I hope will help: I have found that activities that are helpful for the overall growth of the entire person actually supports healthy weight loss. If you do a job that makes you feel satisfied, or even if you just develop hobbies that satisfy deep internal yearnings, that outpouring of creative energy will divert energy from the crying pasties, and instead the energy will go to projects that really fulfill your being.
So listen to your body and spirit. Holistic health is so wonderful because it really is about the "whole" self, and fulfilling all the needs within the complex persona that is you or me. Learning to hear what the body/spirit truly yearn for and then taking action to make those yearnings become reality is an ideal and healthy way to focus on weight-loss without even having to consciously think about it.
The bottom line: listen to yourself; to all the aspects of yourself, and find those aspects that feed your deepest needs as a human being - then follow those yearnings. The body will be fed by the nourishing nature of those activities, and the body will stop yearning so badly for food - the quick fix for the deeper psychological/spiritual yearning underlying the feeling of hunger.
