That being said, the title of this blog is Beauty and the Beast. At this moment, I am referring to the paradoxical nature of how we regard beauty in our society/culture. In fact, it doesn't necessarily even have to do with our specific society. Biology and Darwinism play a role in putting individuals with symmetrical, pleasing features in a role of higher power than those who are not regarded as "beautiful." There is an essential paradox and conflict between the beauty which rises from deep within the soul and the beauty which is reflected by genetic factors and what can seem to be random chance.
So which beauty do we honor? The beauty which rises from a life lived in integrity and joy, or the beauty of features coveted by the outside world? In fact, I believe that at different times, we need to honor and be aware of both qualities. And that when both aspects of beauty are given appropriate energy (not too much, not too little, but like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, just the right amount) they begin to work in tandem, like the strands of DNA which spiral around each other, connected by ladder rungs of genetic coding.
There are times when the issue of being beautiful can seem like a beast, burdened by all the expectations of human attributes of beauty that are hardly attainable. I find myself often infuriated by the Hollywood starlets who repeatedly deny having undergone surgery, when in fact the changes in their appearance is as obvious and noticeable as night and day. Angelina Jolie, Halle Barry, and Jennifer Lopez are prime examples of women who are considered to be exceptionally beautiful in our society.... in fact, in the world society... when it is very obvious that each of them have markedly different profiles now than when they were younger, poorer, and surgery-free. I have a world of respect for Demi Moore, who has always admitted to undergoing surgery, even while other actors reviled it, then secretly went under the knife repeatedly to try and attain that "perfect" current standard of beauty that is unattainable naturally by most of the population.
The point is that the burden of beauty can indeed be a beast that we each carry within us, constantly putting down this feature or that. On the other hand, it doesn't have to be a beast of fear and pain. Like the Beast in the story of Beauty and the Beast, the beast can be trans-formative in positive ways if we allow ourselves to live with the paradox, attempting to be as kind to ourselves and others as possible. Go ahead and get surgery if you would like to. I have no problem with actors who have surgery. I get angry at those actors who do have surgery and then deny it, making the average Joe or Jo (unable to afford surgery) feel inadequate and un-beautiful. Or even worse, in my mind, are those smug actors who don't have surgery because they truly don't need it (at least not yet, while they are still young) who scoff dismissively at those who do have surgery.
This kind of relentless judgment is a beast of fury, anxiety and pain. But like the Beast in the fairy tale, when Beauty (the character) falls in love with the Beast, their entire world transforms into a place of joy and peace. That is to say, if we allow the beast of relentless judgment to control our thoughts and behavior - like the actors who refuse to admit to surgery and scorn those who admit to having undergone surgery - we become victims of our own cruelty and judgment. The first person to receive the brunt of an individual's cruelty is the individual's own self. As the saying goes: "When you point a finger at someone else, there are 3 more fingers pointing back at you." In contrast, if one comes to see the beauty within the beast (ah yes, there's that essential paradox), then transformation and peace are possible both internally and externally. A loving, peaceful person becomes more beautiful regardless of their physical features. And if that person were to have surgery, accepting the paradox and living life as fully and joyfully as they can envision it, the external change that the surgery produces can cause an internal change of joy and release of suffering. The seed of beauty is in each of us, no matter how we may or may not match standard ideals of beauty. And if a person has surgery without seeing the beauty within the beast , they can well become victims of dysmorphic disorder - no matter how many surgeries they undergo. Oftentimes, they are still terribly unhappy because the seed of beauty within the beast (or the seed of their own spirit) was never allowed to emerge and grow.
We, all of us, have aspects of Beauty and the Beast within us. That which we value about ourselves and others represents the "Beauty" and that which we revile within ourselves and in others represents the "Beast." In the fairy tale, transformation and union occur only after Beauty learns to love the Beast. At first, she only sees the fear, the pain, the ugliness of the Beast's countenance. But gradually, she comes to know the Beast, and she falls in love with the Spirit that lives within. In a sense, the Spirit that she recognizes at last within the Beast represents her own Spirit; her own ability to marry paradoxical truths and find joy and release in the union. Like two sides of a coin, Beauty and the Beast cannot live one without the other - and yet, as long as each refuses to look inward, they will never see the reflection of their own Spirit within the other. Two sides of a coin which look outward will only see their half of the world.
So as long as that which divides beauty and beast continues to separate, segregate and judge, no amount of surgery will satisfy that gaping maw of paradoxical hunger. The only thing to do is for beauty to accept beast, and vice-versa. Only then can both halves work in tandem (like two legs on a body) to move forward in life; in love; in spirit.
Body and Soul
In the morning
After taking a cold shower
-----what a mistake-----
I look at the mirror.
There, a funny guy,
Grey hair, white beard, wrinkled skin,
-----what a pity-----
Poor, dirty, old man!
He is not me, absolutely not.
Land and life,
Fishing in the ocean
Sleeping in the desert wth stars
Building a shelter in mountains
Farming the ancient way
Singing with coyotes
Singing against nuclear war--
I'll never be tired of life.
Now I'm seventeen years old,
Very charming young man.
I sit down quietly in lotus position,
Meditating, meditating for nothing.
Suddenly a voice comes to me:
"To stay young,
To save the world,
Break the mirror."
-Nanao Sakaki
Break the mirror. Enjoy the soft flesh of youthfulness, and enjoy equally the process of aging. This does not mean, as I once believed, that one should just stop caring about how one looks; that poverty and giving the shirt off of one's back is better than taking care of and honoring the temple of one's own body. Breaking the mirror does not mean (as I once believed) that one must kill one's ego to save the world. No, breaking the mirror is about the power of letting go of the ideas we have about who we are, and learning to love and appreciate ourselves just as we are. Breaking the mirror is about breaking down the barriers that keep us from really getting to know ourselves. And who are we, really? That's the twenty-four million dollar question. Because we are none of us meant to be the same. For some, enjoying the process of aging can very well be the act of injecting pig toxins into your face so that one's skin is smooth and taut. There can be joy in reveling in the smoothness of the palette of one's skin after getting a facelift. And part of this puzzle; this paradox, is that we all know that those who are considered to be more attractive get better treatment; better opportunities. That paradox is a beast. That paradox is an attribute of the "Beast." That confusion, fear, pain and suffering is the Beast, and that is why we try so hard to run away rather than to befriend this poor, pitiful Beast that is actually one of the tenderest aspects of our deep selves.
Befriending the Beast teaches us that there is no "right" nor "wrong" way to behave or to choose. We each have our own paths; our own destinies to honor. Break the mirror - stop looking outside constantly for answers; for peace. The answers are here within us, right alongside the monstrously fearful "Beast;" the boogeyman under the bed with sharp claws to cut through tender bellies when we were children; the dark stranger who chases us relentlessly in dreams as adults. And paradoxically (of course), once the mirror is broken, the Beast is beast no longer - and with that, other labels dissipate: "beauty" and "beast;" "good" and "bad" also lose focus and meaning. The more important discernments become: "satisfying" or "pointless;" "helps to grow" or "keeps one stagnant."
This is a blog about celebrating beauty in its wholeness. Beauty, truth and goodness are like a tripod - when one of the legs is missing, the whole structure will collapse. When all three legs are strong, it is the most structurally sound formation possible. So there is no need to divorce beauty from the beast, nor from anything else. Each person's integral truth will light them up with the essence of their own beauty when all three prongs are existing equally and in harmony.
It's as if we were all given a lump of clay at birth, and were told that we could make anything we wanted out of this clay. Some of our lumps were wider, bumpier; black, white, red or yellow. Some of our lumps were broken and some of them were seemingly already formed. And as spirits, we knew that this was just our lump of clay to work into our own masterpiece. For some, a masterpiece was like a photo taken of an old, old woman with wrinkles and warts on her nose. (Oftentimes, it's more fun to draw or take a picture of a human being with infinite wrinkles and folds rather than perfectly smooth, flat skin.) For others, a masterpiece was about making a Barbie. For everyone, the idea of a masterpiece changes over and over again just as they themselves change and grew. But the point is that we were given this body to live in, and the right to choose how to decorate it; to bash it (bashing could be the satisfying hard bashing of athletic training or it could be the painful bashing of an abusive relationship); to yell at it or sing to it; to react to all the other bodies giving off confusing signals or to learn how to hone into and listen to the deep voice within. The point is, that we each have the right and the need to choose what we want to express. And if we are choosing with joy, our bodies vibrate with that joy like a pure note on a violin sends ripples of sound deep into the heavens.
So welcome to this blog. Welcome to a place where beauty is explored in my terms and through the lens of my personal frame of reference.. (And I want to hear your feelings and thoughts too... because part of the joy of molding my own lump of clay is in learning and experiencing how you shape yours. We all affect each other, and that can be such a powerfully gorgeous experience when shared consciously.) Welcome to my facebook, twitter, and youtube accounts. Welcome to the advent of 'me' adding my voice to the harmonic ensemble of "All That Is" by my singing of what I believe to be beautiful, real, and full of integrity. I hope you enjoy the ride of the dance as much as I do: makeup brushes in hand, a song upon my lips, a thrill upon my heartbeat.
After taking a cold shower
-----what a mistake-----
I look at the mirror.
There, a funny guy,
Grey hair, white beard, wrinkled skin,
-----what a pity-----
Poor, dirty, old man!
He is not me, absolutely not.
Land and life,
Fishing in the ocean
Sleeping in the desert wth stars
Building a shelter in mountains
Farming the ancient way
Singing with coyotes
Singing against nuclear war--
I'll never be tired of life.
Now I'm seventeen years old,
Very charming young man.
I sit down quietly in lotus position,
Meditating, meditating for nothing.
Suddenly a voice comes to me:
"To stay young,
To save the world,
Break the mirror."
-Nanao Sakaki
Break the mirror. Enjoy the soft flesh of youthfulness, and enjoy equally the process of aging. This does not mean, as I once believed, that one should just stop caring about how one looks; that poverty and giving the shirt off of one's back is better than taking care of and honoring the temple of one's own body. Breaking the mirror does not mean (as I once believed) that one must kill one's ego to save the world. No, breaking the mirror is about the power of letting go of the ideas we have about who we are, and learning to love and appreciate ourselves just as we are. Breaking the mirror is about breaking down the barriers that keep us from really getting to know ourselves. And who are we, really? That's the twenty-four million dollar question. Because we are none of us meant to be the same. For some, enjoying the process of aging can very well be the act of injecting pig toxins into your face so that one's skin is smooth and taut. There can be joy in reveling in the smoothness of the palette of one's skin after getting a facelift. And part of this puzzle; this paradox, is that we all know that those who are considered to be more attractive get better treatment; better opportunities. That paradox is a beast. That paradox is an attribute of the "Beast." That confusion, fear, pain and suffering is the Beast, and that is why we try so hard to run away rather than to befriend this poor, pitiful Beast that is actually one of the tenderest aspects of our deep selves.
Befriending the Beast teaches us that there is no "right" nor "wrong" way to behave or to choose. We each have our own paths; our own destinies to honor. Break the mirror - stop looking outside constantly for answers; for peace. The answers are here within us, right alongside the monstrously fearful "Beast;" the boogeyman under the bed with sharp claws to cut through tender bellies when we were children; the dark stranger who chases us relentlessly in dreams as adults. And paradoxically (of course), once the mirror is broken, the Beast is beast no longer - and with that, other labels dissipate: "beauty" and "beast;" "good" and "bad" also lose focus and meaning. The more important discernments become: "satisfying" or "pointless;" "helps to grow" or "keeps one stagnant."
This is a blog about celebrating beauty in its wholeness. Beauty, truth and goodness are like a tripod - when one of the legs is missing, the whole structure will collapse. When all three legs are strong, it is the most structurally sound formation possible. So there is no need to divorce beauty from the beast, nor from anything else. Each person's integral truth will light them up with the essence of their own beauty when all three prongs are existing equally and in harmony.
It's as if we were all given a lump of clay at birth, and were told that we could make anything we wanted out of this clay. Some of our lumps were wider, bumpier; black, white, red or yellow. Some of our lumps were broken and some of them were seemingly already formed. And as spirits, we knew that this was just our lump of clay to work into our own masterpiece. For some, a masterpiece was like a photo taken of an old, old woman with wrinkles and warts on her nose. (Oftentimes, it's more fun to draw or take a picture of a human being with infinite wrinkles and folds rather than perfectly smooth, flat skin.) For others, a masterpiece was about making a Barbie. For everyone, the idea of a masterpiece changes over and over again just as they themselves change and grew. But the point is that we were given this body to live in, and the right to choose how to decorate it; to bash it (bashing could be the satisfying hard bashing of athletic training or it could be the painful bashing of an abusive relationship); to yell at it or sing to it; to react to all the other bodies giving off confusing signals or to learn how to hone into and listen to the deep voice within. The point is, that we each have the right and the need to choose what we want to express. And if we are choosing with joy, our bodies vibrate with that joy like a pure note on a violin sends ripples of sound deep into the heavens.
So welcome to this blog. Welcome to a place where beauty is explored in my terms and through the lens of my personal frame of reference.. (And I want to hear your feelings and thoughts too... because part of the joy of molding my own lump of clay is in learning and experiencing how you shape yours. We all affect each other, and that can be such a powerfully gorgeous experience when shared consciously.) Welcome to my facebook, twitter, and youtube accounts. Welcome to the advent of 'me' adding my voice to the harmonic ensemble of "All That Is" by my singing of what I believe to be beautiful, real, and full of integrity. I hope you enjoy the ride of the dance as much as I do: makeup brushes in hand, a song upon my lips, a thrill upon my heartbeat.
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